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Means

by Noah Young

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1.
Green 02:24
I’ve been turning green I’ve got lonely island dreams when I get lonely, it’s obscene how a fear can grow where a conscience should be ‘cause my baby’s a raft we’re floating straight into the black but she wears me like a cast yeah we all got heart ’tip it’s broken in half don’t get mad start drinking like your dad did it’s not as bad as you said I’ve been seeing red since you told me what he said but I dug a hole instead you thought that I was better off for that and I’m working on a scene I think you’ll know it when you see it where I’m a castle, you’re a queen and you find a seat in the better part of me so don’t get creeped if I call frequently ‘cause when you need what you need, you need it now I’ve been turning green…
2.
no one recalled where the doctor had walked when he failed to show up for an afternoon meeting all more concerned, when no word was heard we went out looking, later that evening and the moon was hung high, but provided no light as we walked through the garden, searching the beds his wife, how she screamed and muddied her knees when we came to a jacket all tattered and red she said," Murderer, who could you be, to take all my meaning from me? I was a bird in a nest, now I don't have a thing. so tell me then, who could you be?" I was asleep when the gardener came clean he said "I buried him under a pile of leaves 'cause the sun was so hot when it burned through the trees I did it for reasons unbeknownst to me" "so reckoner, what will it be? you can't take me freedom from me. 'cause I've never been sure what the word really means. can you tell me then, what does it mean?" so the trial commenced the first morning in april the good judge presiding asked how he was able to look like a man and walk among people "when you're so much less than, and so full of evil" the gardener replied without blinking an eye that the problem was only that nobody liked to be shown what it means to live with a longing for a place you remember, but can't ever find on a map how could you feel no regret for such an unthinkable mess you're gonna hang with a rope round your neck and I'll sleep better known that
3.
I saw a face buried hot and heavy in a pillow case when I came awake there was an empty space where a woman I knew was laid I made the trade my pride for blurred lines and apathy but I know the game you got two white pills, I got a bucket of thick black paint thick black paint so what does it take to burn a hole straight through you and the wall you made well I found a way you got two white pills I got a bottle of anything anything for every fever dream on a bathroom floor There's a broken lock on a bathroom door for every hour spent in a plastic mold there's an hour left and an hour more for every tired step in the autumn cold there's a word that's kept in a closed up throat for every half lid stare at bare white wall there's the selfish fear that I need it all well I don't tend to sleep that well when you're around
4.
you always walk around like you're leaving 
and everyone knows you got nowhere to go, and when you talk, you talk like you're reading you say it so often, I'm losing the meaning but I never said that I didn't believe it but 
it sounds like a lie when I know you've been drinking
 its always the same like a movie repeating 
 I'm still around if you think that you need it don't look so confused 
I've always been cruel 
this is nothing new
 don't look so confused I've never been a victim of reason 
I slept in the car, I shook at the station 
man it's a sin, it's the dirtiest trick 
to dig up a meaning and leave in the morning don't cut me loose 
I've always been confused 
this is nothing new 
don't cut me loose green eyes, they look red in the light 
and they hang round my mind like a bird on a wire
 and you don't get defeated by what you don't need 
so I don't have to sleep and you don't have to eat
5.
I am the picture of careless and comfortable 
a smoldering coal glowing hotter than coal can glow
 and I thought it was strange how you claimed it was possible
 to think you know something so well when you probably don’t but I know you go where you want to go 
I know you go where you want to go what did you think you would say to alleviate 
the persistent pull from the ground towards the outer space 
when something just breaks its much easier to make an escape 
than admit you’ve been standing in line just to walk away I know you go where you want to go
 I know you go where you want to go I am the picture of failure to orchestrate
a healthier way to remain with what I can’t change or trade 
white collar drugs in an effort to simulate 
a feeling of falling so fast you can’t replicate I know I don’t always do what I ought to do 
I know I don’t always do what I ought to do so what do you do when you lose track of where you’re going 
stumbling around asking strangers the way to get home
 and I guess thats my fault for believing what no one could know 
and putting the things that I want under microscopes 
but I had this dream that my fingers were falling off
 you said it would sting for a bit, then the holes would close 
but its not like me to just go when I know I should go 
knowing the things that I know, its not probable I know I don’t know you the way that I want to 
I know I don’t know you the way that I want to I’d leave it alone if I thought that you wanted it 
I’d leave it alone if I thought I could stomach it I know you go where you wanna go
 I wanna go where you wanna go

credits

released June 12, 2015

Noah Young - Guitar, Vocals, Bass on track 3

Wayne Redden - Drums, Recording/Mixing Engineer

Jeremy Buethe - Bass on tracks 1, 2, and 4

Gabriel Lubowe - Keys on "Bird on a Wire"

Honor Witke - Background Vocals on "Thick Black Paint"

Mark Howson - Album Artwork

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Noah Young Valencia, Spain

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